兩個人

真的是歷經千驚萬險
就在放假的前一天
公司幾個案子接連出包
頓時發現接下來的幾個案子
完全無法按照跟客戶簽約時所壓的時間完成
美編 程式的主管
紛紛對我靠邀
說我時間為什麼壓這麼緊
孰不知
這些時間 與當初給客戶的承諾
都是老大允許的
現在出包了
就找我開刀
整個只有一個賭爛了得

這時我想起老哥跟我講的
只要賣的東西出了包不會出人命
其實都是可以接受
對
所以我現在很老神在在
不像以前緊張到胃潰瘍...
我把所有我該注意的該做的都做了
剩下那些制度瑕疵與人為因素
就由它去吧

就在昨天忙的不可開交的同時
聽說到一個認識很久的朋友
她跟她交往五年的男朋友分手
原因是那男的愛上別人的樣子
我也認識那男的
是個老實人 在我心中評價還不錯
今天走到這個田地
講真的也沒有什麼誰對誰錯
真的愛到了 也沒有什麼不放手的理由

兩個人在一起
到底是要求時間長短的量
還是求在一起快樂程度的質
其實也很難說
但看了這麼多別人的例子
自己也經歷過幾次愛情
我開始對所謂的天長地久那種不切實際的承諾
產生反感
時間可能產生愛 更可能產生習慣
習慣是很可怕的
當身邊這個人變不出新把戲
兩人的之間總是少了些...
可以讓兩人緊緊擁抱的熱情
在一起好像就流於一種形式

我知道 久了要放手很難
縱使身邊這個人已經像礦物一樣無聲無息
總是有千萬種考量而繼續下去
就是沒有一股狠下心來拋棄一切的勇氣

老實說
我很欣賞我那個老朋友的男朋友
他今天勇於承認 給大家一個解脫
未嘗不是件好事
是阿~~
很多事真的不能用這麼理性的思維去解釋
所以
基於朋友一場
我應該要保持一個好聽眾的原則
跟著大罵 "XXX我去你媽的王八蛋"

昨晚我媽看到阿珊的盛裝打扮
今天早上語重心長的跟我說
"Tony阿 我覺得你照不住這個妹妹"
理由是他覺得這妹妹的條件犯不著...
跟我這沒用不帥又不大(我指的是年紀)的男人在一起
WELL...
沒想到我媽也這麼膚淺 現實又勢利
不過她說的也沒錯
我總覺得像我這樣的人
比較適合往三十歲的熟女界發展
那年紀的女人市場行情平平(請原諒我帶有沙豬與輕蔑熟女的口吻)
也渴望一段安定的感情
外在條件除了有沒有錢以外似乎都不是很重要
管你什麼大小(我指的是年紀)高矮帥醜的
是個人 也許有個穩定的工作就行了

我承認
出了社會整個人都變了
什麼天真浪漫的情懷都會跟自己絕緣
今天愛的這個人
我真的不敢奢求她會把她的明天都留給我
既然這樣
何不給對方多點自由與空間
只要在一起的每一天
都會讓人分開時都會依依不捨
這樣就夠了
未來~
等我有一億再來好好思考也不遲~~

以上這些原則與想法~~
完全出自於我的原創理論
"爽度主義(Cheerfulism)"
來信仰一下吧年輕人~

快想辦法

ㄟ冷一如往常
敲我msn並且稱我為"逼哥"
接的他第二句話...
"快想辦法"
"再不作些有意義的事 晃一晃就要三十歲了"
的確
不用你說
我比誰都緊張

騎車上班 搭車出差
一個人的時候
我常常會想
我到底可以作什麼!?
我那些沒路用的親戚們
隨便搞個公司都可以養幾十個人
我到底可以作什麼!?
在這公司窩到三十歲
然後再跟我現在幾個過三十的同事一樣
每個月月底到處籌業績
也不清楚下一步怎麼走

老媽最近又開始提起買房子的事
工作大概就是一天比一天累人
客戶 案件 不停的追著我跑
月底開始煩惱就差臨門一腳的業績
還有永遠處理不完的事
難道我要這樣過一輩子!?

晚上講電話講到很晚
隔天工作實在是有種快往生的感覺
不過生活真的比較踏實
週末不會想要喝醉
工作與睡眠不足 讓身體很累 但心理不累
that's why...

ㄟ冷
我想我們有共同的夢想
剛好你有個舞台
可以讓我們show him what we got

路上看到百萬名車
我都會想看看坐在裡面的事什麼人
去拜訪客戶
看看名片的抬頭 再打量這個坐在我面前的人
這些人
就是傳說中的上流社會 主觀階級
不可否認
共識與觀察的過程中
大部分都是鳥人跟兩光的人
沒道理他開澳底
我騎兩輪的 不定時還會熄火的老爺車

講到這
我想起boyz 2 men的一首歌
i will get there..
i will get there somehow!!

8 mile

最近的生活
讓我想起這首歌
這首是我高中很愛的一首歌
在那個還在用cd隨身聽的年代
我已經有一台MD
裡頭錄的都是RAP
上課一個小時的路程 下課一個小時的路程
這首歌陪了我一陣子
今晚
再回味一下吧~

Sometimes I just feel like, quittin I still might
Why do I put up this fight, why do I still write
Sometimes it's hard enough just dealin with real life
Sometimes I wanna jump on stage and just kill mics
And show these people what my level of skill's like
But I'm still white, sometimes I just hate life
Somethin ain't right, hit the brake lights
Case of the stage fright, drawin a blank like
Da-duh-duh-da-da, it ain't my fault
Great then I falls, my insides crawl
and I clam up {*wham*} I just slam shut
I just can't do it, my whole manhood's
just been stripped, I have just been vicked
So I must then get, off the bus then split
Man fuck this shit; yo, I'm goin the fuck home
World on my shoulders as I run back to this 8 Mile Road

[Chorus]
I'm a man, I'ma make a new plan
Time for me to just stand up, and travel new land
Time to really just take matters into my own hands
Once I'm over these tracks man I'ma never look back
(8 Mile Road) And I'm gone, I know right where I'm goin
Sorry momma I'm grown, I must travel alone
And go follow the footsteps I'm makin my own
Only way that I know how to escape from this 8 Mile Road

[Eminem]
I'm walkin these train tracks, tryin to regain back
the spirit I had 'fore I go back to the same crap
To the same plant, and the same pants
Tryin to chase rap, gotta move ASAP
And get a new plan, momma's got a new man
Poor little baby sister, she don't understand
Sits in front of the TV, buries her nose in the pad
And just colors until the crayon gets dull in her hand
While she colors her big brother and mother and dad
Ain't no tellin what really goes on in her little head
Wish I could be the daddy that neither one of us had
But I keep runnin from somethin I never wanted so bad!
Sometimes I get upset, cause I ain't blew up yet
It's like I grew up, but I ain't grow me two nuts yet
Don't gotta rep my step, don't got enough pep
The pressure's too much man, I'm just tryin to do what's best
And I try, sit alone and I cry
Yo I won't tell no lie, not a moment goes by
That I don't pray to the sky, please I'm beggin you God
Please don't let me be bitchin holdin no regular job
Yo I hope you can hear me homey wherever you are
Yo I'm tellin you dawg I'm bailin this trailer tomorrow
Tell my mother I love her, kiss baby sister goodbye
Say whenever you need me baby, I'm never too far
But yo I gotta get out there, the only way I know
And I'ma be back for you, the second that I blow
On everything I own, I'll make it on my own
Off to work I go, back to this 8 Mile Road

[Chorus]

[Eminem]
You gotta live it to feel it, you didn't you wouldn't get it
Or see what the big deal is, why it was and it still is
To be walkin this borderline of Detroit city limits
It's different, it's a certain significance, a certificate
of authenticity, you'd never even see
But it's everything to me, it's my credibility
You never seen heard smelled or met a real MC
who's incredible upon the same pedestal as me
But yet I'm still unsigned, havin a rough time
Sit on the porch with all my friends and kick dumb rhymes
Go to work and serve MC's in the lunchline
But when it comes crunch time, where do my punchlines go
Who must I show, to bust my flow
Where must I go, who must I know
Or am I just another crab in the bucket
Cause I ain't havin no luck with this little Rabbit so fuck it
Maybe I need a new outlet, I'm startin to doubt shit
I'm feelin a little skeptical who I hang out with
I look like a bum, yo my clothes ain't about shit
if the Salvation Army tryin to salvage an outfit
And it's cold, tryin to travel this road
Plus I feel like I'm on stuck in this battlin mode
My defenses are so up, but one thing I don't want
is pity from no one, the city is no fun
There is no sun, and it's so dark
Sometimes I feel like I'm just bein pulled apart
from each one of my limbs, by each one of my friends
It's enough to make me just wanna jump out of my skin
Sometimes I feel like a robot, sometimes I just know not
what I'm doin I just blow, my head is a stove top
I just explode, the kettle gets so hot
Sometimes my mouth just overloads the ass that I don't got
But I've learned, it's time for me to U-turn
Yo it only takes one time for me to get burned
Ain't no fallin no next time I meet a new girl
I can no longer play stupid or be immature
I got every ingredient, all I need is the courage
Like I already got the beat, all I need is the words
Got the urge, suddenly it's a surge
Suddenly a new burst of energy is occured
Time to show these free world leaders the three and a third
I am no longer scared now, I'm free as a bird
Then I turn and cross over the median curb
Hit the verbs and all you see is a blur from 8 Mile Road

[Chorus]